Another day of failure

Hi. It's 11 thirty at night and I just had a binging session. Well actually I've been having a lot of those. I've gained 10 pounds and Iv'e got to get rid of them before January because new year was my goal For 100 pounds. right now I'm 110 so yeah. I'm gonna try harde these 2 months I've got left but I know that in the end I've only got one mor month of "bin lunch time" because school ends up and then I won't know what to do. I'll shit up my relationship with my mom and escape home everyday I guess. I'll "soak myself in oil" (that's what my mom says for "i won't give a shit about what people think") and I'll lie to everyone. I need to focus on myself right now. Everything else, including school, can fuck itself. I'll still do my homework and everything but I won't skip a day of gym to get it done, and I won't get stressed out because that makes me binge. Monday I'll start my carbs only diet. In one week you lose 6 pounds and it's about eating fruit for brakfast and dinner and just noodles without meat or any protein in lunch. If I bin 5 lunches out of 7 (of the week) I'll feel accomplished...then I'll plan the other week, let's just go one step at a time. But I'm glad I at least got this coming week figured out because that makes me calmer. And now let's keep up with thinspiration. I'm watching Kate's Secret. God great role model that girl, really disciplined. Get ahold of yourself girl!