Another oath of mine....

No one loves me properly. And it’s not that I complain, just that, I mean, maybe for once it would be nice to experience real love. Maybe it’s not buyable. I’ll make a list of people who should love me and next how those people currently “do”. Okay.

Mom – she only wants to make me eat. And she doesn’t even eat for herself, god. Then she like goes crying and is turned into the victim and everyone buys it. Shit. She doesn’t eat, didn’t go to college and has married twice and has had a divorce once but is too immature to separate from my dad even when he already got a fucking girlfriend. She never helps me, isn’t there when I need her, and couldn’t care less about my insecurities. Clearly doesn’t love me the right way, or at all.

Dad – let’s start by saying he only sees me whenever he wants to, stands me up almost every time, and he doesn’t listen a shit when we talk. He’s quite selfish. Or he just doesn’t care enough.

Brother – he tells me to trust him but then he betrays my confidence because in our fights he yells everything I told him to “open up”. He’s an asshole and a manipulative twat.

Friends – They only like me when I’m in a great mood, They betray me when I’m in need and backstab when I trust them the most. It’s obvious not the best friend everyone wants.

Aunt – only cares for me what needed to accomplish being a “normal” aunt.

Dad’s girlfriend’s children – They are backstabbing bitches who don’t even know me and are already trying to change me. Not good.

Nanny – she just smiles at me whenever she wants to and never admits she’s wrong, not the type of person I need right now to raise my self esteem.

I guess that’s it. No one cares so I skipped studying for my test tomorrow and did this. I’ve never been irresponsible before. It will be so much fun when I get used to it. No more pressure from anyone. I could live with that. Sure. And because no one cares I won’t do anything. 0 stress. Nice philosophy. I guess I’ll stick to it.

 Angie is my non-real-people thinspiration (people I don't know in person) Love her sickness :)